Things you probably shouldn’t say on your child’s blog

The other day as G was collecting James from nursery, a nearby child was making a horrible ear-bleeding noise.  The child’s mother said to G “James is nearly two, isn’t he? This is what you get when they turn two. From the *very* first day.

So – that gives us 3 remaining days of relative peace.

The thing about being one is that, aside from the occasional day in which you suspect they may be starting the Terrible Twos early, it has been largely characterised by a sort of artless cuteness, bountiful affection and a general air of acquiescence and goodboyishness.  All of which makes the irritating bits seem worthwhile and easy to ignore.

But, of late, we’ve begun to see the early signs of (lets be honest here) annoyingness.

It creeps up on you gradually, with things like a new found willfulness in which every  single sentence uttered is repeated back to you with the word ‘not‘ inserted and every request to ‘come here‘ is met with an immediate desire to run off in the other direction.  That and the sudden onset of imaginative play, which pretty much takes the day-long form of “I’m a horse!”, “I’m a cowboy!”, “I’m an elephant!”, “I’m a cow!”… etc

Yes, dear, you’re a cow.

Microbe’s endless chatterboxing has always been fairly tolerable due to the fact that he has a relatively quiet voice. But, alas, he has suddenly learned to shout. I entirely blame nursery for that one.

And, on top of all of that, dear god – the bossiness! Who does he think he is, all of a sudden? This week we’ve found ourselves, mid-conversation, on the receiving end of “Mummy, stop talking!” and “Daddy, no talking!“.  What is a succinct way to tell a toddler to cease and desist this line of thinking? I have a feeling our outraged replies of “Oi, you’re not the boss of me!” may not have the desired effect.

So, yes, wish us luck.

On the plus side, he is at least showing signs of not being a psychopath. His nursery has started to tick off developmental boxes like showing concern for others and bonding with other children – and he’s started doing caring things for his toys, like feeding them and  putting them to bed.  Another plus side to being nearly two is that he is very sanguine about going to bed and pretty much tells us when he is tired and ready.

He also (thank the lord) seems to have retained his general tendency towards cheerfulness, which means that we don’t get subjected to a lot of prolonged and inexplicable whingeing, which has to be THE most stressful thing for any parent to put up with. Fingers crossed it will last…

As for the birthday event itself, we have a day out planned – and the BBC is predicting thunderstorms and rain. Hooray!  We shall have to sell this as a chance to wear his yellow wellies and jump about in ‘pluddles‘ (one of the many words in which he likes to insert an unnecessary l)

Well, that’s all for now. I shall undoubtedly post a birthday update with pics later in the week. Until then, no talking!

About Susan Flockhart

Bonsai lady-geek and blogger. I can hardly recall what I used to blog about pre-microbes, but these days I generally ramble about motherhood, nonsense and whatever's going on the world of tiny people
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