On the rare occasions when I find the time to peruse other people’s parenting blogs, it’s a joy to come across something hugely entertaining like this one. Most of the time I just do a rapid scan from a few people whose microbes are of a similar age to mine. There’s nothing like the fascination of reading about other people’s mundane lives that are almost identical to yours. That and the opportunity to have bad thoughts (you know… when you read a gushing photo-blog all about someone’s ‘gorgeous’ child and you think “yes, assuming your idea of gorgeous is a Mick Hucknell-themed cabbage patch doll.”
But, really, thank god for parental delusion – imagine a world where we all looked at our children objectively? It doesn’t bear thinking about. Far better for me to gaze with fond delusion at the perfect roundness of the microbe’s head without needing to know that someone on the Internet is experiencing a frisson of parental schadenfreude and muttering about that child’s freakishly round head.
You even become the same way about other people’s children that you happen to be close to. Amongst the small group of toddlers that I feel close to, I frequently find myself struck by how beautiful they are. Conversely, all of the children at James’s nursery are unappealing little grublings. Could it be that I really do happen to know the only attractive toddlers in SW London?
Of course, having a perfectly round head did nothing to protect the microbe from a slightly unfortunate hair cut the other day. We generally like to keep it short, but not extremely so. However the woman at the barbers got a bit scissor-happy over the ears and he came out this time looking like a cross between Season 1 Blackadder and a 1940s evacuee…
Watching him later that evening, muttering away to himself with his new nerd-do whilst doing a jigsaw, G commented that we appear to have created Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory. I can’t disagree. Especially given his penchant for stuttery statements like “I I I I I I’m doing jigsaw” and “Watch, mummy. Like this.” as he inserts a jigsaw piece into its slot. (G is attempting to re-train him to say “Let me demonstrate” for added Sheldonitis)
But never mind the do. I’m pleased to report that the Microbe had a splendid second birthday with a day out to a farm, a piggie cake, a visit from Auntie LJ and not a drop of rain.
In the morning he had lots of fun opening an assortment of jigsaws, books, craft kits and piratey goodies from family and friends. He’s still at rather a sweet age where he wants to unwrap and play with each toy as soon as he’s opened it, rather than rushing to the next present – hence we had to sit and watch entire jigsaws being completed and books examined in between unwrapping sessions.
I’m afraid my video capture skills remain utterly woeful but (for the benefit of a few absent family members) we did capture a few of the present openings here for things that had winged their way here via Uncle Amazon. (For anyone who can be bothered to watch, I especially like the bit where he is choosing a present to open while concentrating on doing a poo …and then denying it).
I’m pleased to say that he is genuinely delighted with all of his presents. He’s become even more of a jigsaw automaton and does all of his new ones at least twice a day. He also adores his new wooden farm animals and playmat and his pirate costume, and some of his new books seem to have reinvigorated his interest in stories. (Personal notes will be forthcoming to those of you that he has not seen and thanked in person).
The only present that looks like a slow burner is the scooter that he got from Daddy and me. Here is a picture of him looking like he’s loving it, but it lies, dear reader. He’d only been on it for about 30 seconds and then he wanted to get off and nothing would convince him to go back on it. I reckon he will take a few months to fall in love with it. This pic is really just evidence of the sudden and tragic arrival of self-consciousness… (it appears his nursery has taught him to say “cheese”).
Anyway the scooter, loved or not, has been pimped to oblivion with a light, flashing wheel spokes, a pull-strap and a union jack bag attachment that came as a freebee and has ‘made in Germany’ written on it. (Does Hitler have a grave? If so, I hope he’s spinning at speed.)
So far two of James’s favourite new birthday books are the Usborne Book of Animal Stories, that is being demanded for storytime twice a day and The Interrupting Chicken, an entertaining bedtime read about a little chicken who interrupts all of her stories with cautionary advice for the protagonists (e.g. “don’t trust the old woman, she’s a witch!“).
Our own little interrupting Sheldon has not reached such an advanced stage of intervention yet. His version is to declare “That’s finissed!” when he’s had enough of something. Because he has the attention span of a gnat, this can be quite annoying – e.g. when we’re halfway through a story or a game and suddenly find ourselves on the receiving end of “That’s finissed, Daddy“, followed by a snap of the book. Being a child of the 21st century, he’s even inclined to do it during a 1-minute lolcat video if it’s dragging a bit. Cos, y’know – what’s a busy toddler to do?
I can certainly confirm that this blog post has been subjected to about 800 Interrupting Sheldon incidents. Gone are the days when I could rattle off a post at speed. Nowadays they are cobbled together over a week or two of stolen seconds – so do kindly blame any disjointedness on that.
Now I have once again run out of time and I have to run off and eat my dinner so I shall simply finish up with a tiny piece of pirate silliness. Toodle pip!