Do it like a dude

Today was “Red Day” again at Jimmy’s nursery, meaning that he had to be dressed in red and was required to bring in a red thing for show & tell.

I can’t explain what possessed me but, at some point between getting out of bed and sending him off, I decided that today’s red thing should be a balloon-model dog, made by me. As soon as Microbe worked out what I was doing he nearly died from excitement – and I nearly gave myself an embollism blowing the thing up. Good god, you need lungs of steel!

Alas, the red balloon turned into a pink balloon once it was inflated – but I did my worst… and the balloon popped. However my second attempt produced, to Jimmy’s unadulterated delight, an under-sized and slightly deformed pink dog. In your face, Red Day!

Next month is “Blue Day”… I’m thinking a blue balloon snake with rigor mortis should be pretty easy, yes?

In more alarming news, yesterday morning I caught the microbe singing the following little ditty:

“I can do it better than you – because I am a man!”

*laser-beam head-swivel*

“Because you’re what???”
“Because I’m a man!”

*tumbleweed*

I couldn’t get any sense out of him as to where he learned this song but I got the impression it was from something humorous. (My best guess would be Peppa Pig, given the way that Daddy Pig’s story arc typically involves being shamed for his hubris by Mummy pig.)

As for Microbe’s real Daddy – bless him – he delivered a sturdy talking-to this morning, to inform the Microbe beyond all doubt that there is only one thing that men can claim to do better than Mummy and that is to pee standing up. And James can’t even do that yet.

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About Susan Flockhart

Bonsai lady-geek and blogger. I can hardly recall what I used to blog about pre-microbes, but these days I generally ramble about motherhood, nonsense and whatever's going on the world of tiny people
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