Welcome to the Bates Motel

On Saturday G and I took the microbe to the annual May Fair on Richmond Green, which turned out to be an exact replica of last year’s fair, right down to the craft stalls, foodstuffs and identikit rides.

Compare and contrast May 2013…

With May 2014 (he’s even wearing the same coat!)

This year the boylet was old enough to show an interest in the tat stalls and seemed to enjoy exercising his newfound shopping skills, rummaging in boxes of old toys at floor level and asking “How much is this?” (the answer was “10p” every single time).

His spoils for the day were as follows:

1. A small furry pig (that has been commandeered by mummy for the washing machine)
2. A plastic toucan
3. A little book of farmyard-themed rhymes
4. A rather unappealing little doll

I was amazed whephoto (49)n he chose the doll. Not only is it a very naff doll indeed but it’s also the first time I’ve seen him show an interest in anything remotely humanoid. Usually it’s 4-legged beings all the way. In the afternoon  we bumped into a friend and, when he showed off his doll, she commented “oh that looks a bit like mummy doesn’t it?

Um.  I suppose she may have a point. It’s certainly on the short-arsed side and is blessed with the kind of ‘stadium hair’ that you wake up with after a microbe has crawled into your bed at 3am and fouffed it up for hours.

When I asked Microbe “what on earth made you want this doll?” he replied “it has hair!” (I fear a fetish in the making).

Right… now that you’re all sufficiently creeped out, I shall change the subject.

Sometimes of late it is hard to tell whether the boylet is being a clever little smart-arse or really dumb. He’s developed a habit of repeating things back to me wrongly, often with small details changed to his advantage.

Example:

“I want to take piggy to nursery”
“No, you’re not supposed to bring toys to nursery”
“But I want toooooo!”
“Ok, here’s the deal. You can bring piggy on your scooter. But when we get to nursery you put him in mummy’s bag – and when I pick you up later you can have him back.”
“Ok”
(upon entering nursery)
“Right, do you remember the deal?”
“Yes. I keep piggy and when you pick me up I will put him in your bag”
“NO – that was not the deal!”
“oh” 

Example 2:

“Mummy I want a sweetie”
“If you eat all of your dinner, then you can have a sweetie”
“Ok.”
*pause*
“So, you said, if I don’t eat my dinner, then I can have a sweetie”
“Yes.”  …  “Eh? what? NO!”

He also likes to test me by throwing out red herring statements or deliberately doing things wrong when he detects that I’m humouring him and not really paying attention (which, admittedly, is quite often). I think he’s learned this trick entirely from Daddy, who likes to change the words of favourite bedtime stories to something ludicrous, to test for awakeness.

LQuilt pic2astly, I’ve almost finished making a new bedcover for him. It’s a cheat’s quilt because the farm pic in the middle is just a printed panel. All I had to do was stuff it with wadding and quilt around the animal outlines. I’ve also added a border to make it bigger.

The boylet is DEAD from impatience to have it on his bed but, alas, the bias binding for the edges did not arrive in the post – so it remains pin-ridden until probably next weekend. (I shall take a pic in situ when it’s finished.)

 

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About Susan Flockhart

Bonsai lady-geek and blogger. I can hardly recall what I used to blog about pre-microbes, but these days I generally ramble about motherhood, nonsense and whatever's going on the world of tiny people
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