I like to move it move it

Apologies all, but it’s time for the obligatory last-day-of-holiday ramble.

I’m afraid this holiday has been marked by some serious arguments and debates that there’s no coming back from.

“You’re a big poo poo”
“No you’re a big poo poo”
“Well you’re a big wee wee”
“YOU’RE a big wee wee and I’m a big poo poo”

Why, yes, I have been on holiday with children. Was it the conversation that gave it away, or the fact that I just had dinner in a restaurant whilst wearing star wars stickers all over my face?

Anyway I shall start by saying “hooray for Broadstairs!” It’s a very lovely place indeed and an excellent alternative to Cornwall, if you don’t fancy the interminable 6-hour drive. Here be beaches, promenades, 2p machines, crazy golf and quite a lot of Dickens fetishery…

The only down side is the evening noise, which doesn’t bother me very much but I suspect would bother some people. During the day Broadstairs is a twee and rosy domain full of children and pensioners. By night it appears to be overrun by hen nighters and boy racers, many of whom seem to like hanging about outside the pub and the youth centre opposite our apartment. Still, it wouldn’t stop me renting this place again if we ever come back.

On the first evening, as soon as we’d dropped off our baggage, we decided to pop out and have a nose at the beach (approx 1 minute walk from the flat!) and get our bearings.  At this point the Micro-horde immediately flew off their leashes and rampaged around in the sand fully clothed.

Our first night was so intolerably hot and humid that we all practically expired overnight. I’d have sold my soul for an electric fan.  We’d been promised storms but in the end we only got about 2 minutes of limp thunder and light rain that didn’t help at all.  It took until the following day for the weather to fully break and everything suddenly became tolerable again. This turned out to be the only day with rain – and we spent part of it rock-pooling…

For the first few days we had triple-microbe action with Ben, James and St Helena The Adored. Unfortunately things did not start very well as the Microbe managed to trap Ben’s fingers in a door – apparently in an attempt to stop Ben getting his toys.

SIGH.  I wish I knew what to do about only child syndrome. Besides procuring some emergency siblings on the black market, does anyone know a short-cut to de-bratifying a child who has not yet learned that the world does not revolve around him? Answers on a postcard please…

I did actually catch the microbe and Ben playing together a few times, on the rare occasions when James was not too busy mooning around after Helena.  But… give it a year and I reckon there’s a good chance Ben will become top favourite. (And with any luck by then Microbe will have learned how to share his toys).

Anyway – it’s not all bratitutde.  Their penalty for coming on holiday together was to be made to pose in ridiculous pile-ups before being allowed out to the beach…


We also introduced two of them to gambling. (You would not believe how many 2ps you have to haemorrage in order to win two rubbish plastic keyrings.)


On Wednesday Nat’s other half joined us and we celebrated The Benbot’s second birthday. I hope he enjoyed his day – it mainly consisted of beach play, a tea party and a pile of Peppa-themed presents and, of course, his very own rock star guitar…

Unfortunately Ben was too little to join in the crazy golf with the other two. But Helena turned out to be REALLY good at it. Microbe discovered that his only hope of coming second was by picking up the ball and dropping it manually down the hole.

The rest of the week we were down to four and our days have been pretty much more of the same. Helena is a total water baby and Microbe has gradually learned to love the sea… just in time for us to leave. We also had a visit to Walmer Castle and a very brief mooch around Sandwich, which is pretty but hasn’t got much to interest wee people.

Do you think we may have tired them out?


Despite the profusion of empty beds, the Microbe and Helena have insisted on sharing a single bed every night. Bless…


And now the end is nigh… and I am not very happy about giving Helena back to her mummy tomorrow. I need to plan an elaborate kidnap scenario. I WANT TO KEEP THE DOLLY! Microbe is just not into hair plaiting and nail varnish. Feh.

Anyway, for the very interested only, our full set of hol pics are on Flickr here.

PS – for anyone wondering about the title of this post, I’m sorry to report that I am simply sharing the earworm that I have been subjected to for the last 7 days. Enjoy!



About Susan Flockhart

Bonsai lady-geek and blogger. I can hardly recall what I used to blog about pre-microbes, but these days I generally ramble about motherhood, nonsense and whatever's going on the world of tiny people
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