Flockenstein’s Monster

The other day the microbe was doing something mildly annoying and I bellowed “Stop!!” and he looked back at me and replied “Hammertime!

I have nobody to blame. I programmed him myself.

On another topic, have you ever had to wake up a toddler in the morning? Their zest for life is hilarious. This morning the boylet turned up in our bed shortly before 6am clutching a furry pig and, instead of pestering the hell out of me like normal, he zonked straight back into a deep sleep and I had to wake him an hour later for nursery.

So I sat the toy pig on the boy’s chest and said, softly:

“James, Piggy says wake up!”

It was like stepping on a rake. His entire upper body went SPROING!! and his eyes snapped open and a huge grin spread over his face.  (Has anyone ever been so delighted to wake up in the morning? Ever?)

Over the last few months we seem to have stealthily brought forward the boylet’s bedtime. Occasionally we even get him tucked away as early as 7pm (though this is usually reserved for nights when he falls asleep face-first in his dinner).

He’s also happy to fall asleep by himself these days, which means we no longer have to bedtime-story him into a coma. In your face, Gina Ford!  (…what? We’re only three years late.) Usually I promise to pop back and check on him “in 10 mins” and return to find him away with the fairies, with an arm clamped tightly around one of the menagerie. Bless.

In scatological news, the boybot has now given up wearing nappies, except at bedtime. Some days everything goes swingingly… other days we are treated to multiple plastic-bags-of-shame. I have no idea what lies behind the good days or the bad days – there seems to be no pattern to it.  I expect we shall just continue on until we stop getting the bad days.

I still feel compelled to return to pull-ups when we visit other people’s houses though. (A plastic-bag-of-shame is one thing… a someone-else’s-carpet-of-shame is quite another).

Last, but not least, I spotted a really sweet Beatrix-Potterish Christmassy dinner plate in the toy section of Fara Kids in Richmond the other week. It’s usually a bit of a goldmine for Microbish tat such as Lion King figurines, marbles and tiny plastic animals and I thought that the boy would love it.

It only cost £2 – but has turned out to be a limited edition plate by Villeroy & Boch which flogs for around £100 on eBay.  Bargainacious!  Now G has questioned whether a £100 plate is the ideal dinner surface for a reckless microscopic vandal…  (um, perhaps we’ll just save it for once a year.)

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About Susan Flockhart

Bonsai lady-geek and blogger. I can hardly recall what I used to blog about pre-microbes, but these days I generally ramble about motherhood, nonsense and whatever's going on the world of tiny people
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