Workin’ 9 to 5

Sometimes writing a rambling blog that you only ever expect your nearest & dearest to read can have unexpected side effects.

E.g. about twice a year James receives an email offering him the chance to review garden toys and games. I don’t mind these. The emails are polite and unspammy and, if we had a bigger garden, we might say yes. It certainly beats the ones I get, offering me the chance to review female incontinence products.

But the majority of parenting spam tends to come via Twitter, which I hardly bother with these days. But once in a while something catches my eye. For example – somebody twote this link at me today and I was bemused enough to click on it:

This appears to be a service targeted at Very Busy Parents. (I can tell because all of the parents in the pictures are wearing suits and smiling at iPads.) The idea seems to be that Very Busy Parents pay a fee and receive in return a detailed, personalised schedule of after-school activities, devised and written for their kids.

Not the activities themselves, just the schedule.



Here’s the source of my bemusement. If you’re too busy to even think about activities for your kids, how on earth are you going to find the time to take them to all of it? The pictures on the website suggest that you will receive a fiendishly-compiled self-improvement schedule for each child, involving swimming, ballet, gymnastics and music classes. But who is taking them to all of this stuff at 3 in the afternoon? Who’s picking them up and feeding them in between? When are you going to squeeze in 30-hours of Pokemon Go and Dinosaur Train and nagging for a Kinder Egg?

It reminds me of those services that I keep getting street-mugged about, where they want to deliver a recipe + exact ingredients each day for my weekday evening meal. Presumably this is aimed at people who are far too busy to think about what they would like for dinner… yet blessed with the time and inclination to cook it from scratch every evening. And heaven forbid they should fail to fancy whatever happens to be on the standard menu each day.

I know. I am just being bloody minded. And wilfully missing the point. (They’ve probably all got nannies.) But I am a bad blogger, so I’m going to sit here and heckle without bothering to sign up and find out more. Sorry.


About Susan Flockhart

Bonsai lady-geek and blogger. I can hardly recall what I used to blog about pre-microbes, but these days I generally ramble about motherhood, nonsense and whatever's going on the world of tiny people
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