Erk. I’m afraid I might have ruined the boy for ever by breaking the seal and letting him have a go on the PS4. My pasty-faced little stripling is now well on the path to Morlock Land.
It all started fairly innocently when I let him have a little run-around on Minecraft (which is, frankly, rubbish on the iPad and 100 times better on a proper gaming device). The side effect of this was daddy joining in (by spending 48 solid hours in a horizontal state, building cuboid residences “for the boy”). Now they’ve set up a shared world on our computers… and the last time I took the boy to the allotment he came home with what he believed to be pockets full of “genuine redstone”.
Then, on Sunday night, I let him have a go on a PS4 demo of Lego Jurassic Park. Love at first bite! I’ve promised him that he can play the game properly over the Easter hols and now only the tortured souls in Dante’s 8th circle of Hell know the agony that the boy is going through, having to wait 5 WHOLE school days to unwrap the game of delights.
“Pleeeeeeeaaaassssee, can I just play for five minutes, Mummy!”
Poor Microbe. But there’s really no time for that sort of thing during the school week. As far as I’m concerned, if he wants to spend half of his school hols sitting in his PJs solving dinosaur lego problems on the PS4, he can be my guest. I’ll just have to try and remember to air the Morlock once a week.
I started compiling a list of Things To Do In The School Holidays but then I remembered about Other People and promptly crossed out half of my ideas. If Hell is other people, Hell With Bells On is other people’s children.
The following is my list of tolerable remaining options for sunny days out. (Er, there may be a slight “gardens” theme going on here):
- Ham House & gardens (includes an Easter egg hunt)
- Osterley House & Gardens (currently has dinosaurs)
- Kew Gardens (currently has Moomins)
- Richmond Park, Twick riverside, etc. (I make these sound more exciting for the Microbe by calling them “nature walks’)
- Hampton Court (via boat)
- Battersea Children’s Zoo
- London Wetland Centre (including walk through Barnes Common)
- Mummy’s allotment (yes this counts as a “day out”)
- Auntie Jane’s back garden (while mummy and auntie Jane drink wine)
Meanwhile my bad weather list includes:
- NHM (as always)
- London Aquarium
- Shrek Adventure Thingy (undecided as we’ve not done this one yet and it may be hell)
- Pets at Home (which runs animal-bothering workshops in the school hols)
- Horniman Museum (if I can face the schlep to Forest Hill)
- Duvet days (Hell, yes!)
Boy and I are firm believers in the value of a good duvet day. May they be long and plentiful.
We also have an exciting mini-break planned in Cornwall for three nights, for a family birthday party. This is where we’re staying… our very first Glamp in a little hobbit house, and Hubble will get to have a proper bed instead of a cot! I’m praying that the weather will be dry enough for a bit of rowing on the lake and an evening around the fire pit, cooking marshmallows. That alone will tick off one of the microbe’s all-time camping ambitions. Fingers crossed…
I’ve told the boy to think of the journeys as “days out in the car”. Worth a try, yes? I’m also stocking up on charger cables and iPad headrest mounts, in the hope that I can lull both children into a 7-hour screen-stupor each way via the power of Peppa Pig and The Lion King on repeat.
Last, but not least, here is a little video that I took of the kidbots yesterday on what turned out to be a deliciously sunny spring day. I swear I could eat Hubble up in one sitting, with or without cream.
PS: Hubble’s new favourite words are “Wow!” and “My!! My!! My!!”
PPS: Ooh – breaking news. Tooth number two has just flown out amid a tissue load of blood! Hope our resident fairy has a £2 coin handy…
PPPS: Hmm. I appear to have used the word ‘Hell’ rather a lot in this post. Has anyone done research into how often the word ‘hell’ correlates with the words ‘school holidays’?