Author Archives: Susan Flockhart

About Susan Flockhart

Bonsai lady-geek and blogger. I can hardly recall what I used to blog about pre-microbes, but these days I generally ramble about motherhood, nonsense and whatever's going on the world of tiny people

The life changing magic of getting the kids to tidy up

The boychild is 100% obsessed with Halloween crafting.  He’s been getting up at the crack of dawn all week and ferreting about with coloured paper, lolly sticks and pipe cleaners before the rest of us are even awake. This morning it … Continue reading

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Accio wine

IT IS THE SCHOOL HOLIDAYS! I’ve been counting down the packed lunches in anticipation of the joy of next week, when I’ll only have to get one child ready in the morning and won’t care about the non-urgent laundry piles … Continue reading

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A post in which I get excited about booklights

I’ve been meaning to post this little fly-by for my book-loving pals (if that’s not you. look away now, there’s nothing to see here.)  I’m only going to ramble on for 5 mins about my mini-obsession with book-shaped reading lamps… The … Continue reading

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Hey little sister

What is this? Two blog posts in one week?  It must be football season. Normal lack of service will be resumed imminently. It is the golden hour, when children have been dispatched to bed and I am not yet asleep in … Continue reading

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Whistle and I will come to thee

Oh joy and jubilation!  The birthdays are over! I swear this year’s birthday season went on for ever, due to endless postponements and delayed parties (which somehow still happened despite all of my best party avoidance tactics). It started with … Continue reading

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Revolting children

Good evening WordPress!  Long time no blog, etc… I’ve been on single parent duty for the last week or so, and it has all gone surprisingly smoothly, notwithstanding the occasional moment of justifiable parent rage.   My only major failing in G’s … Continue reading

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Riddikulus!

Seriously…  this hairdo came in a box labelled “Draco Malfoy wig”.  I demand my £7 back. All hail the joyous annual spectre of World Book Day. I know it’s still over a week away but I was actually feeling quite … Continue reading

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Oh take me back to dear old Blighty

I’m feeling conflicted about the Microbe’s current bedtime story. On one hand, it’s an adventure story involving a secret society of rabbit spies that lives under Buckingham Palace.  Watership Down meets The Kingsman (minus the bum sex). On the other … Continue reading

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No sleep till Fargo

There are boys in my house running up and down the hallway singing Elton John’s I’m Still Standing with the words “poo poo head” instead of “yeah yeah yeah.” This is my life. Kindly send emergency kit. Last night I … Continue reading

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Relax. Don’t do it.

Eek! It is nearly the school summer hols. A whole year since our flat was invaded by builders. I spent almost every day of last summer lugging the boy around the green spaces of West London, just to get away … Continue reading

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On the verge

Grrr! Arg!! Here be the outpouring of a frazzled mind… It has felt like an extra gruelling few weeks thanks to the combined efforts of work and children and lurgy and domestic chaos. This unshakeable cough has kept me awake … Continue reading

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Girlbot in a coma

Things I never imagined spending my money on… In the Microbe’s words, this hyena is “deadly cute!” and he can barely wait until his birthday to get his mitts on it.  (That and a weird menagerie of Minecraft-related cuddly toys … Continue reading

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Sugar and Spice

The joys of Chattenborough #5678: “Mummy I feel bad” “Why?” “Because today I found a slug…” “And?” “…and I caught it and put it in my book bag” “In your book bag? With your books? The bag I am carrying right … Continue reading

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Why we can’t have nice things #843

The other night I nodded off within seconds of putting on an episode of ‘Legion‘ (I seriously cannot stay awake for that trippy nonsense) so G ended up spending 8 hours on his iPad instead, building an extravagant Minecraft residence to show off … Continue reading

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Another block in the wall

Erk. I’m afraid I might have ruined the boy for ever by breaking the seal and letting him have a go on the PS4. My pasty-faced little stripling is now well on the path to Morlock Land. It all started fairly … Continue reading

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Highway to the…

*PMT zone* Sometimes I wonder whether there are any people on earth more annoying than middle class, middle aged parents.  (Obv if you are reading this, I don’t mean you). I realise I am not saying anything new or surprising here. … Continue reading

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Diary of a wimpy kid

It is bonnet season! “Hooray!” I hear you all cry. The utter despair expressed by one of my fellow mums at this announcement made me laugh… because it was pretty much word-for-word the reaction everyone in my family has to the mention … Continue reading

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Hang the DJ

I wish I’d had a recording device handy this morning as I wandered in on the microbe dancing around the kitchen and singing Hey, I just met you And this is craaaaaazy! But here’s my number Call me, maybe! Thanks … Continue reading

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WFD

Ah, the joys of World Book Day. No matter how much you admire it in principle and wallow in the whimsy of children’s books, nothing quite prepares you for the morning itself, in which you have to get ready for work, whilst … Continue reading

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Schroedinger’s Dressing Up Day

So… next Thursday is Schroedinger’s Dressing Up Day (aka World Book Day). How long does one wait to find out whether or not school requires the kids to dress up? I could ask, except the very act of asking makes it so. … Continue reading

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